plainwhiteflour

I’m back! It’s been a while and a long struggle. That kind of happens when someone that you love passes on. You tend to go back to your earliest memories with that person and you try to remember everything that you can so that you can believe that your love one still exist. Only you find through those memories how much the person really loved you and you sort of cling on a little tighter maybe even to tight. And that’s okay. Because as you begin to comb through the years and the times and the events, you begin to realize and see how much you have been shaped and influenced by her and such then you start thinking that you are her. Then you begin to notice the parts and pieces that make you her like those brown eyes and its true! I see her in them and I then, I almost know that its going to be alright, that I’m going to be ok. Then Ok takes you on another journey one in which you have to ask the question if you can measure up or if you can be her or if you can be you and her. Those questions take time and the answers can be both delightful and daunting. She loved words, and books, and stories, and food, and most of all family. I love all of those things too but not as passionately as she did. She was a life long learner as I am and we share that passion together. She was strong and sensitive, and very very very patient, I probably dropped the last two arms of patience. And her loving of others was unconditional while her love of self was questionable. I am the complete opposite in that category, although I often describe my self as being Loving. So now that I have drawn a picture in my head of how I can be of service to others and be as great as she was I find that I have a lot of work to do. Not to measure up but to be of service and to help more and to really be loving. Maybe then she would remember me.

The Simplicity of Words
Naming my blog PlainFlour@wordpresscom because I would like for the stories to evolve into a mini series. The goals of the blog are to use the simplicity of words to tell realistically complex stories. 
 I will start with the word fret. My second word is going  be compromise, and the third word is complacent. There are so many other words associated with this story including love,  hate, conflict, joy, pain, gain. Loss, wonder, influence, and most importantly time. What a word!!
 I will stop here so that I won’t get ahead Of myself.
It was late Thursday night after Christmas and I was wondering about Teresa. The youngest of six, had just been released 3 weeks ago. Everyone was giving her a lot of support but she had to try and manage on her own. The management of day to day life was such a monumental challenge for her, in addition to her responsibilities to maintain her programs. When I saw her last , she looked frail and beaten. Her skin was ashen, and her arms skin and bones. Her stubborn chin and dark piercing eyes still showed a glimpse of fire, a glimpse of fight. I prayed that it would be just the spark necessary to keep her motivated, to make her want something different. But, she looked tired. Maybe a couple of nights sleep in her own bed and some nutritious food will restore her, and help sustain her. Ordinarily, I would say yes, she has a great chance, with all the support and opportunities. But out here, there was one more reality that she had to face. One that the rocked the strongest of them all, and Teresa would be a twig trying to withstand a hurricane.  Mama was gone. Nothing could prepare you for such an unexpected turn of events. No one can could make you believe a truth that you never fathom could exist. A truth that the only person in this world who cared, who truly loved you unconditionally, is no longer living on this earth. Has perished and have gone on to be with The Lord. How will she manage now? What will she do? How can I help her? Will her husband be enough to get her through? "Don't fret," Mama would say. "fret," a middle English word that used as a verb means to feel or express worry, annoyance, or discontent emerged after 900. However, it emerged as a noun around the 1300's and it means an interlaced, angular design with a border.
     Born Carol Yevette Berry on January 25, 1941 to Wallace and Letha Berry in Winston Salem North Carolina during the time where southerners still migrated north in search of a better life. A time where mama found herself in tow with her parents in route "up North," to one of the northernmost southern states in the U. S. , Maryland. Yes, the Baltimore Country Club was hiring kitchen help, and grandma and grandad found work.
Mama was an only child. A victim of a dysfunctional family, a child who witnessed abuse. A child who was abuse. Abuse, there's a word for you.
Wikipedia says it's " The improper usage or treatment for a bad

Hello, Bon jour, Hola, Guten Tag, Chao ban, Non Hap, Namaste! All over the world we are acknowledged and affirmed by our family, our friends, our love ones, and our fellow man. We all acknowledge each other upon waking, after absence of a twelve or twenty four hour period or longer, and we acknowledge new people that we meet for the first time. It is almost as if the universe has created this unspoken ritual that occurs in many different dialogs and tones across the world yet it has the same intent. It’s sort of like a verbal handshake or hug that says I love you and I am glad that you are here, I hope that you are well. Positive energy is immediately created from such a small gigantic gesture. I believe that this band of energy propels the world to turn and rotate and create the ascension of the sun which then lights up the world to a new day.
Reflecting on this ritual has changed my perception of how I behave at first light when I want more sleep. I know now that this higher universal silent command has made it simple for us. All we have to do is say hello upon first sight of all whom we love and see each and every day and therefore we create a universal band of positive energy that brings us light. I have also come to realize that this ritual also puts us on the track for having a great and productive day if we practice this one random act of kindness throughout our day. It doesn’t matter what city, country, or continent. If we are struggling that acknowledgement can motivate us to find the strength, energy, or confidence that we need to make it through. Make it through tough times, trying times, bad times. Make it through to the next day, the next day when we are acknowledged and we know with one hundred percent certainty that such an acknowledgement means I love you and I’m glad that you are here. So: Hello, Bon jour, Hola, Guten Tag, Chao ban, nin hao,and Namaste to everyone! I recognize that their are hundreds of other languages out there for a greeting of hello, I don’t know them all,but I am hoping that at least one of these greetings are recognized by you. Thank you universe! I love you, I’m glad that you are here, and I hope that you are well.